Personal Confessions

I am not a theologian of any sort.  I am also not a pastor of a church.  I am not an elder or even a deacon.  I am just your run of the mill Christian who has realized more than ever that I have a lot of things I need to confess.  This is not a Catholic deal (the whole, “Father it has been 2 days since my last confession” deal).  It is a “I am not perfect and I am tired of people viewing me as such” deal.  My friend and pastor Todd Hiestand posted his confessions.  I felt inspired to do the same.

::  There are many times when I have done my devotions as a ‘to do’ list and not because I really believe the Word of God can and will really challenge and convict me to be more like Christ.

::  There have been times when people were praying I was thinking about what I need to do the next day or thinking about something else rather than praying with the group.

::  I take things way too seriously.

::  I hate being alone.  I would rather be out among people or doing something rather than being alone.  I need take time though to be alone with God more often than I do.

::  I am not confident in myself.  I often take a step back and allow people to walk all over me.  I need to step up and have confidence in myself.  I cannot allow people to step all over me.

::  I am scared of being alone.  I so want to be married one day.  Oftentimes, I feel like my desire will never happen.  It might sound silly but it is a struggle I deal with almost everyday.

::  There are times when I feel like a gerbil on a wheel.  No matter how hard I try, I feel like I am just running in place.  I feel like I have no direction.  I do not know how to change it.

::  Sometimes I feel like I am striving to reach a carrot that is out of my reach.  I feel like when I get to the other side, the grass really is not greener.

::  I have a hard time with trusting people.  It takes me a long while before I feel like I can remove the masks I put on and show you who I am.  Times when it seems I am laughing along with the crowd, I am crying inside.  You wouldn’t know that though unless you really knew me.

These are just a few things I want to confess.  Even writing these down and posting them for others to see, I feel like I have taken off a weight on my shoulders.  I hope as you read this, you will get to see who I really am.  I am tired of people seeing me any different than I really am.  Take some time, consider yourself, and write your own personal confession.  I hope it will be a blessing to you as it has been for me.

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