I am not a theologian of any sort. I am also not a pastor of a church. I am not an elder or even a deacon. I am just your run of the mill Christian who has realized more than ever that I have a lot of things I need to confess. This is not a Catholic deal (the whole, “Father it has been 2 days since my last confession” deal). It is a “I am not perfect and I am tired of people viewing me as such” deal. My friend and pastor Todd Hiestand posted his confessions. I felt inspired to do the same.
:: There are many times when I have done my devotions as a ‘to do’ list and not because I really believe the Word of God can and will really challenge and convict me to be more like Christ.
:: There have been times when people were praying I was thinking about what I need to do the next day or thinking about something else rather than praying with the group.
:: I take things way too seriously.
:: I hate being alone. I would rather be out among people or doing something rather than being alone. I need take time though to be alone with God more often than I do.
:: I am not confident in myself. I often take a step back and allow people to walk all over me. I need to step up and have confidence in myself. I cannot allow people to step all over me.
:: I am scared of being alone. I so want to be married one day. Oftentimes, I feel like my desire will never happen. It might sound silly but it is a struggle I deal with almost everyday.
:: There are times when I feel like a gerbil on a wheel. No matter how hard I try, I feel like I am just running in place. I feel like I have no direction. I do not know how to change it.
:: Sometimes I feel like I am striving to reach a carrot that is out of my reach. I feel like when I get to the other side, the grass really is not greener.
:: I have a hard time with trusting people. It takes me a long while before I feel like I can remove the masks I put on and show you who I am. Times when it seems I am laughing along with the crowd, I am crying inside. You wouldn’t know that though unless you really knew me.
These are just a few things I want to confess. Even writing these down and posting them for others to see, I feel like I have taken off a weight on my shoulders. I hope as you read this, you will get to see who I really am. I am tired of people seeing me any different than I really am. Take some time, consider yourself, and write your own personal confession. I hope it will be a blessing to you as it has been for me.